Chasing Happiness: Understanding the Paradox and Finding True Happiness

Chasing Happiness: Understanding the Paradox and Finding True Happiness

In today's world, it's easy to get caught up in the pursuit of happiness. We're bombarded with messages telling us that happiness is just a few clicks or purchases away, and that if we're not constantly striving for it, we're doing something wrong. But the truth is, happiness is not a destination that we can simply arrive at. It's a journey that requires a deep understanding of ourselves, our values, and our relationships with others.

In this article, we'll explore the concept of chasing happiness, also known as the happiness paradox. We'll delve into why people chase happiness, why we sometimes lose it, and how we can stop trying to find it and start living a truly fulfilling life. We'll also explore the theory of a happy life and the three rules of happiness, as espoused by the Dalai Lama. By the end of this article, you'll have a deeper understanding of what true happiness is, and how you can cultivate it in your own life.

Meaning of Chasing Happiness - Happiness Paradox

Chasing happiness is the act of pursuing happiness directly, often through external means such as material possessions, relationships, or achievements. It is the belief that if we just have the right things or achieve the right goals, we will finally be happy. However, this approach can often lead to disappointment, frustration, and even depression. This is known as the happiness paradox, where the more we pursue happiness, the less likely we are to achieve it.

The happiness paradox arises because happiness is not something that can be obtained through external means. Rather, it is a byproduct of living a meaningful and fulfilling life. When we focus too much on the end goal of happiness, we may overlook the journey and miss out on the small moments of joy and contentment that make up a happy life. Additionally, we may set unrealistic expectations for ourselves and become disappointed when we are not constantly happy. Ultimately, chasing happiness directly can lead to a sense of emptiness and unfulfillment.

Why People Chase Happiness?

There are several reasons why people chase happiness. One of the main reasons is the belief that happiness is the ultimate goal in life. We are often taught that success and happiness go hand in hand, and that if we just achieve the right things or have the right possessions, we will finally be happy. This societal pressure to be happy can lead people to chase happiness directly.

Another reason why people chase happiness is that it is a natural human desire. We all want to feel good and experience positive emotions, and happiness is one of the most sought-after emotions. Additionally, people may chase happiness as a way to escape negative emotions such as sadness, stress, or anxiety.

Furthermore, some people may chase happiness as a way to validate their self-worth. They may believe that if they are happy, it means that they are successful, loved, or respected. In this case, happiness becomes a way to measure their value and worth as a person.

Sometimes they are not satisfied with their current life circumstances. They may feel unfulfilled or bored and believe that happiness is the key to improving their quality of life.

How Do I Stop Trying to Find Happiness?

If you feel like you are constantly trying to find happiness, it may be time to shift your focus from chasing happiness to living a fulfilling and meaningful life. Here are some tips to help you stop trying to find happiness and start enjoying the present moment:

  1. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the current moment. By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to appreciate the small moments of joy and contentment that make up a happy life.

  2. Pursue your passions: Engaging in activities that you enjoy and are passionate about can bring a sense of fulfillment and joy to your life. Whether it's painting, hiking, or playing music, find something that brings you happiness and make time for it regularly.

  3. Build positive relationships: Positive relationships can bring happiness and fulfillment to our lives. Focus on building relationships with people who support and uplift you.

  4. Find a sense of purpose: Having a sense of purpose can bring a sense of meaning and fulfillment to your life. Take time to reflect on what is important to you and what gives your life meaning.

  5. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is important for your overall well-being. Make time for self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, or taking a relaxing bath.

  6. Embrace gratitude: Practicing gratitude can help shift your focus from what you lack to what you have. Take time each day to reflect on the things in your life that you are grateful for.

What Is True Happiness - Theory of Happy Life?

True happiness is not just a momentary feeling of joy or pleasure, but rather a state of mind that comes from within. It is a feeling of being content, at peace, and fulfilled with one's life, no matter what happens. The theory of a happy life suggests that true happiness is not achieved by having material things or being successful, but rather by growing as a person and building meaningful relationships with others.

To experience true happiness, it is important to have positive personal qualities such as resilience, gratitude, and kindness. By developing these qualities, we can learn to see the good in life, even during hard times. It is also important to have strong and supportive relationships with people, and to make a positive difference in our communities.

True happiness comes from living a life that is true to our values and beliefs and from making the world a better place. This means taking charge of our own happiness and well-being, rather than relying on things outside of ourselves to make us happy. By focusing on personal growth, meaningful connections, and making a difference in the world, we can achieve a deep sense of inner peace and contentment that leads to true happiness.

What Are the Three Rules of Happiness?

The three rules of happiness can vary depending on the source, but one commonly cited set of rules comes from the Dalai Lama. These rules are:

  1. The first rule of happiness is to seek out situations that lead to happiness and avoid those that lead to suffering. This means actively pursuing things that bring joy and fulfillment to our lives, while minimizing activities or people that cause stress or negativity.

  2. The second rule is to cultivate a positive mental state. This involves training our minds to focus on positive thoughts and emotions, such as gratitude, kindness, and compassion, while letting go of negative ones like anger, jealousy, and resentment.

  3. The third rule is to contribute to the well-being of others. By helping others and making a positive impact on the world around us, we can find a sense of purpose and fulfillment that leads to greater happiness.

These rules emphasize the importance of taking an active role in our own happiness and well-being, by seeking out positive experiences, cultivating a positive mindset, and giving back to others. By following these rules, we can create a life that is filled with joy, meaning, and purpose.


In conclusion, chasing happiness directly can lead to the happiness paradox, where the more you pursue happiness, the less likely you are to achieve it. Instead, focus on living a meaningful and fulfilling life by pursuing your passions, building positive relationships, and finding a sense of purpose. Remember to prioritize your happiness by setting boundaries, saying no to things that do not align with your values, and making time for self-care.

Also Check: Six Tips for Finding Happiness at Work

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