10 Tips from "How to win friends and influence people" book by Dale

10 Tips from "How to win friends and influence people" book by Dale

Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has been a classic in the self-help genre for almost a century. The book is filled with practical advice and wisdom that can be applied to almost any situation, from business to personal relationships. Here are 10 tips that you can follow from the book to help you improve your interactions with others.

1. Show genuine interest in others

One of the core principles of the book is that people are interested in themselves, and therefore, you should show genuine interest in others if you want to win their favor. Ask them about their interests, opinions, and experiences, and listen attentively to what they have to say. People will appreciate your interest in them, and you'll be able to build stronger connections.

2. Smile

Smiling is a powerful tool that can help you make a positive impression on others. A genuine smile conveys warmth, friendliness, and approachability, and can help put people at ease. Even if you're feeling nervous or unsure, a smile can help you project confidence and make others feel more comfortable around you.

a smiling girl sitting on a ground

3. Use people's names

In his book, Dale Carnegie said  

"A person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language". 

Remembering and using people's names is a simple but effective way to show that you value them. It demonstrates that you've taken the time to remember them and that you see them as individuals rather than just faces in a crowd. Make an effort to remember people's names and use them whenever you can.

4. Listen more than you talk

Good communication is about listening as much as it is about talking. When you're engaged in a conversation with someone, make sure to give them your full attention and actively listen to what they're saying. Don't interrupt or try to steer the conversation toward your own agenda. By listening more than you talk, you'll be able to build stronger connections and gain a better understanding of other people's perspectives.

5. Avoid criticizing, condemning, or complaining

a man demonstrating to shut the mouth

Criticizing, condemning, or complaining about others is a surefire way to damage your relationships with them. Instead, try to focus on the positive and find ways to offer constructive feedback or solutions. When you approach others with kindness and positivity, they'll be more likely to listen and respond positively. 

No one likes complaints so never try to do that. Rather than give them a practical and constructive way to avoid the problem. 

6. Show appreciation

Who doesn't like appreciation? You, I, and the person sitting next to you. People like to feel appreciated and valued, and it's important to show your appreciation for others whenever you can. Don't wait for the great things to happen and then only you appreciate them. 

Start it with simple things, little genuine things, Whether it's a simple thank-you note or a more elaborate gesture, taking the time to show your appreciation can help strengthen your relationships and build goodwill.

7. Focus on common ground

Never start the conversation with a topic that the opposite person doesn't agree with. People try to avoid different mindsets and this may cause a barrier in your relationship.

Begin by emphasizing - and keep on emphasizing the things on which you agree. 

When you're interacting with others, it's important to find common ground and build on it. Look for shared interests, goals, or experiences that you can bond over, and use them as a starting point for your conversations. 

By focusing on what you have in common, you'll be able to build stronger connections and find more opportunities for collaboration and cooperation. 

8. Give sincere compliments

Compliments can be a powerful tool for building relationships, but they have to be sincere to be effective. When you offer a compliment, make sure it's genuine and specific. Rather than just saying "you're great," for example, try saying something like "I really appreciate the way you handled that situation."

Being specific shows you care for that person and all the compliments that you are giving to them are genuine.

9. Show empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It's an important skill to have if you want to build strong, meaningful relationships. 

When you're interacting with others, try to put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective. This can help you build rapport and deepen your connections with them.

In his book, Dale Carnegie commented, "The other people may be totally wrong. But they don't think so. Don't condemn them. Try to understand them. Only wise, tolerant, exceptional people even try to do that."

10. Be open-minded

Finally, it's important to be open-minded when you're interacting with others. Don't be too quick to judge or dismiss their ideas or opinions. Instead, try to keep an open mind and be willing to consider different perspectives. This can help you build trust and respect with others, even if you don't always agree with them.


In conclusion, the principles outlined in "How to Win Friends and Influence People" are as relevant today as they were when the book was first published in 1936. 

By following these 10 tips, you can improve your interactions with others and build stronger, more meaningful relationships. Whether you're trying to advance in your career, build a network of contacts, or simply improve your social skills, these principles can help you achieve your goals and live a more fulfilling life. So why not give them a try and see how they can help you level up your personal and professional relationships?

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